if not now, when?

clarity can exist only when there is freedom to observe, when one is capable of looking, observing watching. that is only possible when there is complete, total freedom, otherwise there is always distortion in our observation.

- j. krishnamurti

give way to delight

why should we grieve that we’ve been sleeping?
it doesn’t matter how long we’ve been unconscious.

we’re groggy, but let the guilt go.
feel the motions of tenderness
around you, the buoyancy.

- rumi
(buoyancy)

don’t think twice, it’s alright

as much as i struggle with body image, it is not something that confuses me, or escapes my ever-present mind. it is predictable. my lack of faith in beauty comes when i am easily taken advantage of by a mindset that wants me to change my mind. when i am tired, hungry, negatively conflicted, or caught off guard and pounced upon by a situation or person or idea that somehow assumes that this way is the right way. in no way am i taking myself out of this category, but i sure don’t have two feet in it. it is the individuals that cannot use their own minds to see what beauty really is. no, really. i’m actually, honestly, really, and definitely tired of hearing ‘beauty is only skin deep’ or ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, or choosing to inflict praise or disapproval on someone or something. it’s time to change. i’m pretty sure that i have no idea what i’m talking about, however, my intentions are true.

close your eyes. can you see anything? is anything still beautiful? is anything still ugly? probably not, because you can’t see it. it’s all still there though. label anything to death; most things won’t change because you or him or her happened to think for one moment or a lifetime that any one thing wasn’t beautiful. everything is beautiful, nothing is beautiful.

so, then, what? what is beautiful? it’s nothing you can hold. think. beauty is love. love for yourself, for the person nearest to you. for the person farthest from you. for the words you are reading, for every word you have ever read. each and every thought in and out of your wonderful mind. everything that has made you the person you are today, and not the beautiful person you are today. it is your mind, your energy. or… it’s nothing. it is nonexistent, an idea, created and misconstrued. beauty is existence. it is being here, now. where else could you be? that in itself has beauty. it is the sky, blue, grey, or black. it is you. inside, outside, here, there. good job, you.

what do you love most? is that thing that you love a person, a place, a thought, a feeling, a movement? whatever it may be, it is good. honestly. keep loving it. what is most beautiful to you? whatever that may be, it is also good. put more things in both of those places in your mind. file them under ‘love’ and ‘beauty’. fill them with treasures. fill them with people and places and thoughts and feelings and moments. because here is my thought about that. you get to make your own definitions, your own standards. put yourself in both ‘love’ and ‘beauty’, then go forth. maybe someday they will both be filled with absolutely everything you can possibly thing of, everything you have come across. then those two words wouldn’t mean anything… everything would just be.

use your heart. my own definition reads that the heart is what is most beautiful. my life is surrounded by absolute exquisite beauty and nothing less. my heart is filled with love: love for, and love from. most moments it is the easiest thing to grasp, because of the beauty of those that i am surrounded by. kindness, devotion, wisdom, honesty, humour, generosity, grace, compassion, love, and yes, beauty. the power of beauty, my kind, is made up of the pieces that draw you in, keep you close, and don’t let go. it transcends time, our physical state, words, and comprehension. this is just my way of telling you, all, that you are full of beauty, so much that it runneth over.

not held in servitude

none but ourselves can free our minds.

- bob marley

but instead i chose to use my heart

moi:

my hair isn’t short

my hair isn’t long

my eyes aren’t wide

as my hips are wide

still, i understand my own perfection

every moment i’m a new person

maybe even a better person

learning to grow is more fun

when you know you are growing

when you know your soul is growing

this is not a poem.